A provider male, or beta male, is a man who eagerly, kindly, and sometimes mindlessly gives validation to, and shares his financial resources with, a woman of dubious worth in exchange for sexual benefits, companionship, and the chance to reproduce.. It can also refer generally to a man who is weak, unsuccessful, unconfident, and low in social value as a whole, as opposed to an alpha male. Beta traits display low value to women if they are are put on too strong or too early in meeting- giving without equity. Beta can be used to describe individual behaviors, as well as people who have an overwhelming amount of beta properties (opposed to alpha).
You will never see a beta male confidently, even impudently, demand anything — a norm of behavior, preferred treatment, effort towards a task — from a woman he is dating. He will never LEAD a woman. He will typically appease, and only make passive-aggressive demands of a woman when his fuse is short and his (self-)anger bubbling over.
Beta males don’t like to demand anything of anyone, but especially not of women. Strangers, acquaintances, girlfriends, wives; none will ever experience the distinctly female pleasure of deferring and submitting to a man if that man is a fearful, non-confrontational beta male. And over time resentment and contempt will find a home in these women, and their sexual desire will find a home elsewhere.
Amour Fou notes, "Beta is not only about the words you use, asking for permission and using cheesy lines etc. It has lots to do about how you feel towards them. When a man truly pedestalizes women and puts them above himself, he talks in a different tone and the body itself communicates it. . . . . be sure to be hesitant to look at them in the eyes, and purposefully talk faster and more nervously than usual. You actually have to fear them in order to "act beta"."
Hotwheels notes, "I agree with this. You can talk as beta as you want but if you still have a superior "air", confident body language, etc you'll still pull the broads. They want to fall in live and be with a guy that loves them. The problem is betas are needy and it comes across in their mannerisms and speech. It's not what you say but how you say it."
AntiTrace notes, "just remember a beta does not kino, does not "DHV", and under no condition attempts to initiate sexual contact in any form."
Acts of beta
According to Chateau Heartiste, "Acts of beta are a critical component of relationship game that helps to solidify a girlfriend’s feelings of comfort and security in your company — but they do need to be utilized with the utmost care, because overuse can happen quickly and *will* degrade a girlfriend’s attraction to you."
MikeCF notes, "Getting a girl flowers because she might like them is nice. Getting a girl flowers because you're desperately seeking approval is beta."
Reasons for beta behavior
The reason men act “beta” around women because they don’t understand how awful weak emotions make women feel and how amazing they feel to be around a man not affected by those emotions. For example, it’s dating 101 that a man should take the lead on a date, choose the restaurant, guide the conversation, choose the next bar, etc… Most men don’t know this instinctively. Instead, they think “well I don’t really care where we eat – I’ll ask her what she likes.” But in a woman’s mind, making any choice invites them back into the hell of their weak emotions. “There are so many restaurants. Which one? What if the Italian place is closed? What if he doesn’t like it? Etc…” Picking a restaurant gives the woman the same angst as picking a college would for a man. That’s why a woman would much rather the man just pick a place, even if its not good. The anguish of eating at a shitty restaurant is not nearly as bad as the anguish of the weak emotions attacking her brain as she makes this decision.
Manosphere sympathy towards betas
Some people talk about a manosphere bias in favor of alphas, e.g. "From an outside perspective, it seems like they're a bit too vocal about categorizing themselves as alphas and others as betas ... there doesn't seem to be an attitude of wanting to bring other people into the fold. It seems divisive rather than inclusive." In reality, the manosphere tends to be very sympathetic to betas, describing them as necessary for society to be productive and peaceful, and even advocating monogamy so that betas will have more chances to mate.
Women's relationships with betas
Forge the Sky notes:
To women, betas are friends, helpers, co-workers, employees, servants; unless related by blood, they are practical beings only. There is no romance to them. They are useful, fun, maybe even someone to be a little affectionate toward so long as they remain useful, but they have no deeper self, no soul, no mystical thing to bind to. . . .
No woman will stand beside a beta as he faces, and succumbs to, death. Not unless it’s convenient, or she would be shamed otherwise. It simply would not make sense for her to do so. Would you hold your employee’s hand as they lay dying? Only if they had a fatal accident right in front of you. Past that, condolences to the kids.
Possibility of reformation
The fault of being a beta male rests solely on the beta male. It is impossible to grow up and not observe the differences between alpha and beta male behavior, and how the lifestyle of one is clearly better than the other. It would be great if every man was born an alpha, but it really isn’t that hard to dump beta qualities like a bad habit and tack on the correct alpha ones. It just takes time and commitment. Blaming women for being beta is the same as a mother blaming her four-year-old for being spoiled when she is the one spoiling it. If you have the control to change things but don’t take the necessary steps to do so, you deserve nothing.
- Roosh (6 May 2015). "What Is Neomasculinity?". Roosh V.
- Chateau Heartiste (28 February 2016). "One Glaring Difference Between Alpha Males And Beta Males". Chateau Heartiste.
- Fou Amour (17 March 2012). "RE: I'm going full Beta for the next two days". I'm going full Beta for the next two days. Roosh V Forum.
- Hotwheels (17 March 2012). "RE: I'm going full Beta for the next two days". I'm going full Beta for the next two days. Roosh V Forum.
- AntiTrace (17 March 2012). "RE: I'm going full Beta for the next two days". I'm going full Beta for the next two days. Roosh V Forum.
- Chateau Heartiste (8 May 2011). "Things A Man Should Never Say First In A Relationship". Chateau Heartiste.
- MikeCF (17 March 2012). "RE: I'm going full Beta for the next two days". I'm going full Beta for the next two days. Roosh V Forum.
- "Monogamy's real genius is the turning beta males (80%+ of all males) into highly productive citizens with a stake in the success of the society in which they live in." http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/gnxp/2012/01/monogamous-societies-superior-to-polygamous-societies/
- Roosh (27 April 2007). "Feminism Destroys Men?". RooshV.com.