Don't Marry Any Woman Older Than 25
Don't Marry Any Woman Older Than 25 is a laidnyc essay that reads as follows:
I realized I could never devote myself, as a faithful husband, to a women who wasted the prettiest years of her life before she met me.
If you meet your wife when she’s older than around 23 or 24:
- You are eating someone else’s cold leftovers, then doing their dishes.
- You are showing up to a party after everyone has left and cleaning up after them.
- You are getting into a taxi and paying the fare of the person who got out before you.
- You are taking the nearly expired milk to the grocery store counter and offering to pay double for it.
- You are paying the MSRP sticker price for a used car.
- You are letting someone sext with your girl, then paying his phone bill for him.
- Your friend has sex with a prostitute, then after he enjoys the fruits you pay the bill and get throw in jail for solicitation.
- You are part of a street fight where a guy gets a few good punches in, and the opponent punches YOU for retaliation, not him.
- You are paying for someone’s credit card bill full of reckless spending and partying that you never got to enjoy.
- You are outbidding everyone on an eBay product by thousands of dollars.
- You are trying to unclog somebody else’s clogged toilet.
- You are watching somebody shake a hornets nest, then getting stung as he runs away unscathed.
- You see someone chug a beer, then drink the bitter teaspoon of ass beer at the bottom of the can.
- You are letting someone eat all the creme filling from a box of Oreos, then pay full price for the bland chocolate wafers.
A girl who refuses to get married young is offering a raw deal. She is vastly overvaluing her product, and undervaluing your time and money.
Marriage only makes sense for a man when a girl’s prime years of beauty and fertility are upfront payment for a lifetime of loving masculine support. Men rationally know this.
Is it any wonder, then, that as females are delaying marriage longer, they are finding less willing men?
The line "I could never devote myself, as a faithful husband, to a women who wasted the prettiest years of her life before she met me" also appears in "He’s Just Not That Into You".