Frivorce, or frivolous divorce, is divorce for no justifiable reason. As Farm Boy notes, "There is no longer a requirement for a reason for divorce. It is now a socially sanctioned event on one's lifelong journey. Many modern women apparently are not serious about much of anything. This toxic brew leads to frivorce." In a frivorce, custody of the children usually is awarded to the mother, as this is deemed to be in the best interests of the child.
The author's point is that frivolous reasons for divorce aren't really so frivolous in the minds of women. However, the context of divorce is always the context of conflict and entitlement—divorce is the ultimate expression of "my way or the highway."
Such a nuclear option may be tolerable in cases of adultery and literal abandonment (which is not the same as feeling abandoned.) Nevertheless, when it comes to leaving dishes by the sink, burnt toast, and so forth, it is the marital equivalent of fatally shooting a dog-walker who doesn't clean up after his pet—it doesn't really matter how mad that sort of thing happens to make you. And if the last thing to go through the vandal's mind other than the bullet is the thought that "Gosh, I really should clean up after my dog," well… that's true, but it's also no longer the biggest problem with the situation.
Disappointed expectations following frivorce
It's true that in the US, the system is biased towards women. It's true that too many women are actually stupid enough follow through on this, and shoot themselves in the foot.
But reality has the ultimate dread game that so far has not been changed - past some point in her teens (and maybe early 20's), a woman's SMV (sexual market value) is always going down. Maybe by a little, maybe by a lot.
I don't know of any women who - past 30 - got divorced and ended up with a more attractive guy than they had before. My own parents are an example of this - my father ended up dating someone else, and then his now-current girlfriend. While I love my mother, my dad's current girlfriend is a far better relationship prospect, and more attractive. My mother, on the other hand, hasn't ended up dating anyone else long term.
I look around at people in my parents age range and it's always the same - sometimes the woman dates or remarries someone else, but it's always a step down for her. For him, it's usually a step up. Sometimes he doesn't step up, but that's more the exception than the rule.
The thing that keeps her from pushing that button, and the thing that should motivate her to keep your relationship happy, is the ultimate dread game - as she gets older and older, she's just going to get less and less attractive. It's better for her to solidify a relationship as she gets older and keep things happy and as sexy as possible, than it is for her to leave, because the carousel in her 30's is broken down and rickety.
Of course some women are idiots. And feminism has done a lot to try to cover this up or complain about it. But most women say it's not true but realize it on an emotional level.
A good friend of mine who was in her 40’s and had been divorced for some time said something that I will never forget, “Something I realized after my divorce was the same problems I used to think were caused by him still remained.”
In other words the bathroom still didn’t clean itself. There were clothes on the floor. The dishes piled up. Bills still came. Stuff still needed fixing. And all the rest. . . . .
Sometimes the problems that are so easy to blame on a spouse are simply life problems. Problems you are going to have as a single person, too. Except you will now face those problems on your own.
Frivorce from nice guys
A woman being in 'shitty' relationships then getting with a man who doesn't give her that emotional roller coaster rush her 'crappy' past boyfriends have, is like doing cocaine for the first time after 5 years of regular crystal meth abuse. Sure, the coke gives you a bit of a rush, maybe even a dash of euphoria here and there but it'll be nothing like the magic carpet rides meth took you on back in the day.
The bottom line here is that your 'crappy boyfriends' did what they want, when they wanted, and didn't ask your permission to do it. For better or worse you're attracted to that because it's masculinity in its purest form...that and the fact that most men these days don't live life unapologetically, female anger be damned. This is a rarity which makes it a novelty and is one of the major reasons females are attracted to it.
But your current beau is quite literally waiting on you hand and foot and my guess is that he probably does whatever he thinks you want to do, asks permission, etc. etc. and it turns you off. Subconsciously your mind is telling you "He's treating me well but what have I done to deserve all this?"
This isn't to say that you're undeserving of this treatment. For all I know you might give him toe curling blow jobs on command and have his supper waiting on him when he gets home.
But the reason I know this probably isn't the case is because a woman who complains about special treatment or is turned off by gestures of affection by their men is a woman who doesn't feel she's done the work to deserve it. If a woman knows she's a good wife to her husband, she has no problem bragging about the trip to Barbados or the $5,000 diamond necklace he gave her because she knows she's worth it as she's a good wife.
Again, I'm not saying your a good or bad woman, but you wouldn't be complaining about lack of sexual attraction to him if you reciprocated these actions or better yet, started it in the first place.
A man who rewards a woman simply because she's a woman is unattractive. And deep down, every woman knows this....yourself included.
You're hesitant about breaking up with him because in your mind you're doing it for no good reason. You don't want to tell your friends "I broke up with him because he was too nice."
Leaving the relationship is the right thing to do. But when you have to explain why you left just say "He wasn't man enough for me" or something to that effect and leave it at that.
A lot of girls who are stuck in relationships they don't want to be in will wait until he does something minor to "upset you" so you blow it out of proportion which gives you the out you need to dump him...which means you'll have to grossly exaggerate the story that lead to your breakup because you don't want people saying "Well that wasn't a good enough reason to do it"
Frivorce based on lust
How many times has a chick referred to a player as "fun" to her friends?
How many of us have banged a chick with a serious boyfriend, a "better" man than ourselves?
All the time.
A good dad can lead a chick to the convent, but he can't make her become a nun.
What a lot of pick up theories miss, is the idea that a woman has AGENCY. She has her own mind She can make her own decisions.
That's why we have concepts like the "frivorce" (frivolous divorce for the readers) A woman with kids, a good husband a good life, can meet some Cad at work, and he can ignite those flames.
Despite all the indications that a guy is a bad bet, a chick will throw away her life in a second.
That's the game. There's no eternal defense for that.
It's not like these women make rational and deliberate decisions on who to fuck.
- Farm Boy (18 March 2015). "Red Pill Classroom — Frivorce". Spawny's Space.
- Fray, Matthew (14 January 2016). "She divorced me because I left dishes by the sink". Must Be This Tall to Ride.
- Cochran, Matthew (2 February 2016). "Frivorce Apologetics". The 96th Thesis.
- WestIndianArchie (3 February 2015). "RE: Strict Dads (And Why Their Daughters Are Best)". Strict Dads (And Why Their Daughters Are Best). Roosh V Forum.